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Chasing Perfect

Finding Joy in the New Year

With the new year right around the corner, you are undoubtedly about to face a flurry of New Year's resolutions plastered across your social media feeds. You may even be scribbling your own goals and resolutions in your daily journal, or sharing them with a loved one for accountability.

Goals are great. I think we should all set goals and regularly reassess them and measure our progress... but when it comes to setting that New Year's resolution, I have a challenge for you.

As the hours turn to minutes, and the seconds tick by on the countdown to our new year and new selves, I want you to ask yourself what it is that you want from 2019.

Do you want to be the perfect mom (does that even exist)? The perfect spouse? The perfect disciple? Do you want a perfect body? Maybe you want to find the perfect job or the perfect house or the perfect [enter object here] that will finally make you happy.

I have chased the perfect body. I have chased the perfect wife. I am constantly running the race for the perfect mom. I have a confession to make: I fail every time.

I have spent my whole life chasing perfection. As a middle child, I was always in my older sister's shadow. Teachers called me by her name and I constantly disappointed them or didn't meet their expectations. My younger sister was the baby of the family and did no wrong. I was always in the middle, fighting to prove myself and to prove my worth.

As an adult, I am faced with the pressure of moms groups, social media, Pinterest, and the expectations of my parents, peers, and spouse. I will never measure up to the idol of the perfect being.

I used to cower in fear of not being good enough at any one of my roles: wife, mother, daughter, teacher, volunteer, Christian, athlete, technical editor, author. Somehow I keep adding more roles to that list. If you think it is difficult being perfect at any one thing, try satisfying all of the other roles at the same time. Emotional burnout, anyone? What is worse, the constant anxiety and stress over not being good enough can be a very real roadblock in your quest to being good enough.

This year I issue you a challenge as you assess your goals for 2019: lower your standards.

That's right. Lower. Your. Standards.

If you aim for perfection, you will fall short every time. It isn't your fault. Nobody is perfect. Nobody can be perfect.

There has only been one perfect being in all of history, and He is, quite literally, the son of God. He was tempted in the wilderness and did not sin. He was tried and no fault in the law was found in Him. Still, he was crucified for our sins and He was risen from the dead to be seated at the right hand of the Father so that you and I might find favor with God. His love, mercy and grace covers a multitude of sins so that we do not have to be perfect.

That idol of perfection we have been aiming for, chasing, and dare I say worshiping? It is unattainable and it is stealing our joy.

So what does lowering your standards look like?

It may mean saying no to a volunteer opportunity that takes you away from time with the family. It may mean saying no to another activity on the kids' schedules. It may mean saying no to applying for the advanced degree program because it doesn't make sense right now among your other responsibilities.

It also might mean saying yes to watching your kids chase bubbles in your front yard while the dishes wait in the sink. It might mean saying yes to traveling to see family or friends instead of saving money for a down payment on a larger house. It might mean going part-time at work to spend more time with family or homeschool your kids (best decision I've ever made, really).

Fun with Bubbles
Fun with Bubbles!
For me, it means putting my family first and fitting in writing where I can. It means following my dreams one step at a time, rather than hitting the ground running. It means waiting on God's timing and relying on His perfect plan rather than struggling to make my own.

Whatever lowering your standards looks likes for you, make sure it brings you joy.

It may be cliche, but life is short. Do you want to spend your days chasing perfection? Or would you rather chase a spirit of joy and contentment?

The apostle Paul wrote in his letter to the church at Philippi that he had "learned the secret to being content in any and every situation..." (Philippians 4:12, NIV). If he was flogged, beat, stoned, jailed and shipwrecked, and found contentment in those situations, we can find contentment and joy in the throws of modern day parenting, fighting for our marriages, advancing in our chosen careers, or simply in being.

We don't have to be perfect. There is power in knowing Christ and accepting his gift of grace and love. There is power in contentment.

I hope whatever your resolutions, you find joy in 2019.

God bless!
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