Skip to main content

The Fit For Life Wife Takes on Bullies!

I recently witnessed an instance of bullying carry out on Facebook... between adults. That's right! A good old fashioned hurtful anonymous message and a battle of the wits that rivaled my high school experiences unfolded before my very eyes at the ripe old age of 30.

Should we be surprised that bullying still happens among adults? Probably not. Why not? Why am I not shocked and outraged? Because bullying still exists in our schools today and within the highest levels of government and bullying is a learned behavior. Where do today's youth learn this behavior? You guessed it! From us. They learn this behavior from us.

So what are we to do about the issue of bullying? As I watched this event unfold, I read the comments of people calling for revenge, justice, police reports, and -- my favorite -- toe pokes! What is a toe poke, anyway? All of these adults were outraged that a strong, beautiful woman was being bullied for her successful weight-loss journey. Rightly so. But did anyone stop and take the time to consider that calling for violence and beatings of this bully might be uncalled for?

When we react to bullying and violence with more bullying and violence, we are only perpetuating the problem. We need to be the example. We need to take the time to respond rather than react.

In my personal experience being bullied (in high school), most people who bully you or pick on you do so out of a place of hurt; they lash out at others to feel better about their own insecurities. How do we stop them from attacking us? Maybe it is as simple as showing them mercy and love because nobody has shown them that kindness before.

Mercy. And love.

Jesus tells us during his sermon on the mount, "Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy" (Matthew 5:7). Jesus also commands us to love one another and says that we will be known as Christians by our love (John 13:35).

Two very simple principles that we can share with others and exemplify not only for our children but also for our peers. Since I became a mother, I understand the power of example more than ever before. Everything I do or say has the power to indirectly impact my child's behavior and future behavior. That is a lot of power and responsibility.

Bullies use their power and strength to influence or intimidate others and bring them down. What if we consistently used our power and strength to be a positive influence on others and lift them up?

When we witness instances of bullying or are the victim of a bully, let's take pause and think about extending the mercy that we want to experience ourselves. Rather than reacting to their actions and stooping to their level, choose joy for yourself and show the bully how to choose joy in their own life. Think about who is watching you and how your actions impact those around you.

Then choose love.
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Be Here

I read a book recently that reminded me if we are always waiting for the next good thing -- a "better" house, a "better" job, a "better" location, a "better" spouse, the next vacation, your child's next developmental milestone -- you are never fully in the moment and, therefore, you never fully appreciate what you have. We live in a society that teaches us that bigger is better, surplus is superior to enough, wants are more important than our needs, and the next step will make us happier than where we are. But what happens when you reach that next step? Is all that glitters gold? Does chasing happiness bring us joy? Or does reaching that next step leave us in search of the next best thing? The next hit? The next high? What would life look like, then, if we put our focus on where we are? If we chose joy in any and all circumstances? I'm not saying that we should not have goals to improve ourselves or that we do not deserve to be happy. W...
Post a Comment
Read more

Chasing Perfect

With the new year right around the corner, you are undoubtedly about to face a flurry of New Year's resolutions plastered across your social media feeds. You may even be scribbling your own goals and resolutions in your daily journal, or sharing them with a loved one for accountability. Goals are great. I think we should all set goals and regularly reassess them and measure our progress... but when it comes to setting that New Year's resolution, I have a challenge for you. As the hours turn to minutes, and the seconds tick by on the countdown to our new year and new selves, I want you to ask yourself what it is that you want from 2019. Do you want to be the perfect mom (does that even exist)? The perfect spouse? The perfect disciple? Do you want a perfect body? Maybe you want to find the perfect job or the perfect house or the perfect [enter object here] that will finally make you happy. I have chased the perfect body. I have chased the perfect wife. I am constantly...
Post a Comment
Read more

A Celebration of Birth

As a way of commemorating the birth of my first son, I shared my birth story publicly on this blog on his first birthday. Birth is something that is not often talked about in polite conversation, and as a newly expecting mother 4 years ago, I had very few friends with kids to talk to (or at least that I felt comfortable talking to about labor and childbirth). I would like to keep that tradition going on the first birthday of my second son so that any expecting mother who comes across this blog will know that not all births are created equal.  But it is the unexpected things you can't plan for that make childbirth amazing.  Here is my story... If each pregnancy is a fruit, my first was an apple and my second was an orange. My first pregnancy was sweet and enticing. Everything was easy. I went day to day blissfully aware of this miracle of life growing inside of me, but I was able to carry on with my regular activities. I was in the gym four or five times a wee...
Post a Comment
Read more